This is the fourthof a six-part series about the Middle Ages with the goal
of giving casual readers of medieval romances a better understanding of the
time period and why there were no damsels in distress. (My apologies for not posting it on the right date) This brief blog doesn’t
even begin to cover it the complexity of women’s lives in the Middle Ages,
which varied greatly depending upon class, location, and all the other
variables that are lumped into “socio-economic status.”
Previously:
Love and Marriage
So would you want to be a woman in the middle ages? Probably not. Besides the very real lack of aspirin, tampons and coffee, the lack of choices would be unbearable to a modern woman.
The
key to understanding the medieval women is to understand the role of
the individual and land in determining status, wealth and survival.
First
of all, the idea of an “individual” didn’t exist. That’s not to say that people didn't think of themselves, and sometimes put their own wants and needs above that the whole, but the people who had the means to do that were very rare. Even Eleanor of Aquitaine was married off the first time. An individual's desires didn't equal or supersede society’s needs.
Secondly,
the more land you controlled, the less likely you were to go hungry or fall to
a neighbor. Land equaled security, and those with land (whether it was a
hundred hundreds scattered throughout England or a dozen strips in a field)
used marriage to determine whom of the next generation got the land and all
that came with it.
Love
wasn’t the goal. Neither were happiness, contentment or emotional and sexual
satisfaction. The goal was a stable society where wealth, titles and land passed
without chaos from one generation to the next.
Younger
sons and bastards were left to secure their own future if they wanted land and
a wife. Daughters inherited only if there were no sons. As you can imagine, heiresses
were prized as a quick route to wealth and power. Kings often used heiresses as
“rewards” for services rendered and to tightened the binds with vassals.
For
good or ill, these same scenes played out on smaller scales as you move down
the social ladder. The merchant wanted to align with other merchants to found
dynasties and make sure his grandchildren are heirs to a dynasty. The master
craftsman could train all his sons, but his eldest would be the one to take over the family business.
Among
peasants, childless couples would adopt two or three of the younger children of
a large, neighboring family, and those children would inherit after taking care
of the couple in their old age. These arrangements are spelled out in contracts
that stipulate what the elderly woman would eat, including how often and in
what amounts, clothing she would receive in a year, where she would sit in the
house in relation to the hearth, where she would sleep, and healthcare in old
age. We know about these because of the number of suits brought by one party
against the other for not meetings the terms of the contract, and the great majority of these suits involve impoverished women.
Marriage
as a political and financial arrangement changed little throughout the Middle
Ages. What changed was the Church’s growing influence over marriage. Initially,
the Church was tangential to the ceremony. By the 12th century, a priest was part of the wedding ceremony,
but it would be another century before he was required for the proceedings.
The
Church also decreed that marriages required the free consent of
both partners. And thought this idea became doctrine, it doesn’t mean the
participants had a say in the matter. Consent could be “coaxed.”
Wife and
Mothers
The
roles for medieval women codified by the Church and society weren’t negotiable.
There were strict expectations defining a woman’s duty both inside the home and
within a marriage. Straying from these expectations brought harsh social and
perhaps legal or religious reprisals. Women were expected to bear children and
nurture them, be obedient to their husband and take care of domestic matters.
The
importance—and narrowness of this role—is reflected in how young girls were
educated. Education focused on the practical, not the academic.
Among
the nobility, girls as young as seven were sent from their home to live
with another noble family, often because they were betrothed to a son of the
family. She learned how to run a household, manners, etiquette, and leisure
pursuits important to the nobility, such as hawking, dancing, riding and
embroidery or needlework.
They
would act as a servant in these households, waiting upon older women in the
family. Unfortunately, because marriages weren’t legal until after
consummation. Many of these young women were neither daughter nor servant.
Worse, if their betrothed died before the marriage, they were either wanted by
neither family—or in a tug-of-war between their father-in-law who wanted to
keep their dowry and their father who wanted it back. Several historians,
including Georges Duby, have written about the physical and sexual abuse that
grew out of this situation.
Theoretically,
the young lady had the right to say no when it came time for the actual
marriage. The question of whether both parties are entering into the marriage
of their own free will was real and important. Even with this, few young women
said no. The “Nos” that we know about are typically part of a saint’s
hagiography designed to show the woman’s piousness or commitment to a life of
chastity. For most women, saying no would often bring on worse consequences
than being married, i.e. the physical and sexual abuse mentioned above or a
life in a convent.
If
she didn’t say no, a noblewoman’s marriage would be consummated around age 14, but many times it happened even younger. We look at this as abusive today, but then it gave the girl legal protection if her husband died that her betrothed status did not.
Girls
on a lower social rung learned how to run a household, perhaps how to run a
business, as well, and to treat minor illnesses. There was less emphasis on
leisure pursuits, and more on practical matters. For instance, while many
noble women learned to read, only some women of the merchant class learned.
Freewomen and serfs almost never did.
Independent
women
There
is some debate as to whether becoming a nun was actually better than life as a
married woman. It wasn’t necessarily a life of quiet contemplation. These were
self-supporting communities, and young noblewomen could be expected to work. However,
nuns were educated (although much less so than their male counterparts) and
were responsible for the administration of their convents.
Outside
of the cloister, widowhood was often the first time that most women were able
to make their own decisions and chart their own course. Women who enjoyed
widowhood most were those who were financially secure but not too rich.
Of course, we know
so much about widows’ entitlements and lives because of lawsuits and court
records. The fact is many women had to seek legal recourse against sons,
stepsons, in-laws, and lords to receive their due inheritance. Like the young
bride who had the right to say no, but who faced punishment worse than marriage
if she did so, widows had the right to property and chattel, but often faced
violence, inaction, and collusion to deprive them of their property when they
exercised that right.
One
interesting trend that defies all the restrictions placed on women is the
pilgrimage. A large majority of pilgrims seems to have been women. We know this
from burial goods, which include badges or other tokens that signify a
pilgrimage, and wills that bequeath goods, lands or coins to pilgrimage sites
or specified that someone be hired to make a pilgrimage on behalf of the
deceased
One
interesting exception to everything we know about woman in the late Middle Ages
is Margery Kempe (d. 1438). Kempe wrote what is believed to be the first
autobiography in the English language. The Book of Margery Kempe chronicles
her extensive pilgrimages to various holy sites and her “conversations” with
God.
What
makes Margery so interesting to historians is she went against all social
codes, systematically violating each one of them for religious purposes. She
faced a great deal of criticism for her efforts from society and the Church.
From her book, we can learn what happened to women who went against the
expectations. She wore fine clothes in the latest fashions, started her own
business as a brewer and was thought of as “proud” (pride is one of the seven
deadly sins, btw).
She
is “punished” for her sins. Her business fails, the Archbishop chastises her,
and her husband more or less agrees to a separation. Remember there is no
divorce.
Damsel in
Distress
The
fairytale view of the princess locked in the tower until rescued by the
knight in shining armor is pure fiction. In the Middle Ages—frankly, until just
last century—women were seen only as someone’s daughter, sister, wife or
mother. In general, women could not inherit or hold property (it passed
“through” them but not “to” them), did not retain custody of children if
widowed or divorced, and rarely had a say in who or when they wed.
If
she were brilliant and capable, the type of woman who could defend a castle
(Margaret Paston), run a country (Eleanor of Aquitaine, Eleanor of Castille, )
or out-argue Peter Abelard (Heloise) she was seen as the exception to what "everyone" knew about women.
If her
father, her brother, or her in-law locked a woman in a tower no one would come
to save her. They had every right to put her there and keep her there for as long
as they wished.
Keena Kincaid writes historical romances in which passion, magic and treachery collide to create unforgettable stories. Her books are available from Prairie Rose Publications and Amazon. For more information on her stories, visit her Amazon page, her website, or Facebook.
