Earthy Expressions and Interjections by Kaye Spencer #prairierosepubs #wordplay #colorfulmetaphors

 

You’ve probably heard the expression “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit”. It’s an old fashioned, earthy expression of surprise that doubles as a way to swear when it isn’t socially appropriate to swear (as in around little kids).

I love word play, puns, and colorful metaphors, so these sayings feed into my particular sense of humor.

Earthy expressions and interjections are sayings reminiscent of the word game Mad Libs where you fill in the blanks in the sentence with the appropriate part of speech, which often produces hilarious results.

As you read these expressions, start with “Well” then add the saying. Also, by their very nature of being earthy, some of these sayings are suggestive and not PC (my favorite type of language). haha

Here we go.

Well, _____________________ 

• Shake my Martini and call me Bond, James Bond

• Rub my lamp and call me Genie
• Lock me in a castle and call me Belle
• Slap me thrice and hand me to me mamma
• Slap me silly and call me a punching bag
• Slap me with bread and call me a sandwich

• Slap my forehead and call me stupid
• Butter my butt and call me a biscuit/ toast
• Dip me in mustard and call me a hotdog
• Bang my bongos and call me Desi
• Feed me garlic and call me Stinky
• Roll me up and call me Curly
• Rub my chest and call me Vicks
• Toss my greens and call me Caesar

• I'll be dipped in shit, rolled in cracker crumbs, and fried to a deep, golden brown
• Knock me down and steal my teeth
• Spank my ass and call me uncle
• Shave me down and call me a mole rat
• Tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam.
• Shut my mouth and call me corn pone
• Buy me eyeliner and call me Jack Sparrow

• Shut my mouth and call me luggage
• Wet my feet and call my Ducky
• Feed me nails and call me Rusty
• Rub my tummy and call me Buddha
• Roll me in fairy dust and call me a unicorn

• Smack my ass and call me Sally (Sally was a common, old fashioned pet name for a donkey)
• Fry me in butter and call me a catfish
• Sandwich me in shortbread and call me a cookie
• Pin a tail on my ass and call me a donkey
• Paint my ass red and call me a baboon
• Paint me green and call me Kermit/ Fern/ a pickle/ a Martian /stupid all day /a leprechaun/ Gumby
• Paint me yellow and call me a cab/ school bus/ banana/ squash
• Paint me orange and call me a pumpkin
• Paint me pink and call me a piggy
• Paint me white and call me Frosty
• Paint me black and call me a kettle
• Paint me red and call me a fire truck

• Color me pink and call me tickled
• Paint me purple and call me Barney
• Color me purple and call me a grape
• Paint me yellow and call me sunshine
• Cut off my legs and call me Shorty
• Pour me out and call me a little teapot
• Love me tender and call me Elvis

• Buy me slippers and call me Dorothy
• Tickle my giblets and call me Butterball
• Pluck my whiskers and call me a polecat/ banjo
• Cinch me up and call me a horse
• Strip my gears and call me shiftless

I hope this brought a little levity into your day. Since I collect these Earthy Expressions, please share any that you know.

Until next time,
Kaye Spencer

writing through history one romance upon a time

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