OPENING HOOKS-by Celia Yeary
"It
was a dark and stormy night…" No, no, never begin a story with the
weather. The reader will skip ahead and look for action or characters, or
heaven forbid, close the book.The nineteenth-century Gothic novels opened with
long brooding descriptions of the weather, or a monologue recounting the entire
genealogy of the family in the story, enough to make one's eyes glaze over.
Okay, let's see. "I was falling, falling…and then I woke up." Nope, I remember, now, NEVER open a book with a dream--or an alarm clock or phone ringing.
What about something really funny? For example, "Nearing the table with a tray of filled tea glasses, her foot slipped on spilled gravy…." Uh, oh. That's on the list of no-no's, too.
Such a list exists, in fact. The admonitions may vary slightly, but editors are programmed to stop reading a submission after the first sentence or first paragraph if she/he sees these red flags. This means if the editor stops reading, so will a reader.
In today's world, the reader wants and deserves action, the inciting incident, the reason for the story, and he wants it right away. In some manner, the opening sentence or first paragraph or first chapter must give the reader what he wants--"What is this novel about?" Grabbing the attention of an editor you'd like to impress or a reader you'd like to keep is an art form all its own. Books galore sit on shelves or can be found on-line that help the budding author or the experienced one who wants a refresher course learn a bit more about a good beginning.
Here
are the beginning lines from six different novels.Okay, let's see. "I was falling, falling…and then I woke up." Nope, I remember, now, NEVER open a book with a dream--or an alarm clock or phone ringing.
What about something really funny? For example, "Nearing the table with a tray of filled tea glasses, her foot slipped on spilled gravy…." Uh, oh. That's on the list of no-no's, too.
Such a list exists, in fact. The admonitions may vary slightly, but editors are programmed to stop reading a submission after the first sentence or first paragraph if she/he sees these red flags. This means if the editor stops reading, so will a reader.
In today's world, the reader wants and deserves action, the inciting incident, the reason for the story, and he wants it right away. In some manner, the opening sentence or first paragraph or first chapter must give the reader what he wants--"What is this novel about?" Grabbing the attention of an editor you'd like to impress or a reader you'd like to keep is an art form all its own. Books galore sit on shelves or can be found on-line that help the budding author or the experienced one who wants a refresher course learn a bit more about a good beginning.
1. The truth had long been settling on Jonathan Gray, sneaking into his resisting corners, but it had finally resounded in the deepest part of him. (The Fulfillment: LaVyrle Spencer)
2. He'd known all day something was about to go down, something life-changing and entirely new. ( Montana Creeds: Dylan: Linda Lael Miller)
3. Sister Bernadette Ignatius and Tom Kelly sat in the back seat of a black cab, driving from Dublin's airport through the city. (What Matters Most: Luanne Rice)
4. It was well known around Russellville, Alabama, that Tommy Lee Gentry drove like a rebellious teenager, drank like a parolee fresh out, and whored like a lumberjack at the first spring thaw. (The Hellion: LaVyrle Spencer)
5.When Ella Brown woke up that morning, she didn't expect it to be a momentous day. (Rainwater: Sandra Brown)
6. A sharp clip-clop of iron-shod hoofs deadened and died away, and clouds of yellow dust drifted from under the cottonwoods and out over the sage. (Riders of the Purple Sage: Zane Grey
These opening lines come from Best-Selling authors. Do we need to pay closer attention to the novels we read? Go to a bookstore, find a shelf of best-sellers in romance, and open several to study the first page. Just read the first line.Make a list of the kind of “hooks” that interest you in a book. Your list may be the same as mine.
1. Attention-getting
2. Exciting
3.Pulls me into the story
4. Straight forward
5. Brief and punchy
6. Rouses curiosity
7. Emotionally charged
8. A declarative sentence
Hooking your reader is not easy, but with a little self-study, you can improve your chances with editors and with a reader. With your next or current WIP, try writing five opening sentences and ask fellow authors or your critique partners help you select one. You might consult a good friend, too, one you know will give you an honest answer.
Happy Writing!
Celia Yeary-Romance…and a little bit of Texas
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/celiayeary
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Even the famous authors can fall short on those opening lines. The first sentence is so important, we all worry over it. All of us want the reader's eyes to pop open wide and a mental response to follow in shock or surprise or excited curiosity because we want them to dig in to our story.
ReplyDeleteI have failed on this opening line business many times. Sometimes I get it right, but it certainly is a major concern for me.
You gave some great examples and pointers in this article, Celia. Thank you for the reminder about keeping those opening lines enticing.
The opening lines of The Hellion are memorized. I love that opening more than any I've ever read. Me? Oh, I loved to explain and explain...anything, the countryside, etc. Someone told me one day, "Let the characters tell you about the scenery, if you must. YOU stay out of the picture.
DeleteAnd this advice does hole true--I don't know how many novels I've deleted or returned to the shelf because of the opening lines..the opening paragraph, or even the opening 6 pages. If I'm not caught by them...I won't ever be.
And yes, famous authors also fail...but often they get by with it..why? because the are FAMOUS.
I think opening lines are a problem for any author.
Thanks for you comment..and I've looked at some of your openings...you do a good job.
Loved this, Celia. Great refresher for all of us.
ReplyDeleteLinda..I'm having more trouble with the endings of recent stories. I read an article some time ago that bemoaned the fact that most endings were just blah..and needed work. I'm in that category.
DeleteThanks for the comment.
Those first lines are the bane of my existence as a writer, bit it still doesn't stop me from trying. What is funny, most first lines in books just don't work for me, even the great ones. Perhaps I've heard so much about how important they are, I just tend to 'skip' them. Of course I'm the person who reads the first line then goes to the end of the book to see how it turns out. LOL. If the two cause me to ponder what happend in the middle, then I read the book.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and full of thoughts to ponder. Thanks. Doris
Gasp! Noooo! You're not "one of those!" While I would never read the ending, I do know you're not alone. And you know your mind. Thanks for the comment!
DeleteGreat post, Celia. I know I write and re-write my first paragraph so many times, until I am satisfied with it.
ReplyDeleteMona..oh, me, too. That opening often takes days for me to finally get it right--or as right as I can.
DeleteThe perfectionist in us.
Thanks for visiting.
Celia, when I began publishing, I did just as you suggested. I looked at the opening of my favorite recently-published novels and tried to pick out what made it compelling. As you mentioned, doing so with older books won't help because different rules apply now. People insist on faster gratification--most of us don't have time to wade through pages of description and backstory.
ReplyDeleteCaroline--I learned my lesson fast and stuck to it...it helped that I knew what I liked in a book I might wanted to read. Thanks!
DeleteFirst lines are tricky for sure. I like to jump into the action as fast as possible. It doesn't always work. Try, try again!
ReplyDeleteKyn..I know. Sometimes I don't know what the action is! I know my characters...but how to make the story stand out at the beginning--that is something to ponder.
DeleteCelia, great look at 1st lines! I agree, they can be very tricky. Great examples. I try to have some action in the opening line, but it can be tricky. I'm always trying to think "action" verbs. lol!
ReplyDeleteSmiles
Steph
See? You, too...all of us are aware of what an opening line should be..we just don't always hit the mark. Yes, as you say..think "action" verbs. Good advice!
DeleteVery good reminders, Celia. One other thing I see a lot of in manuscripts is things happening to people that we don't really know--therefore we don't care about them yet--and to me sometimes that doesn't work, either. I've done that a few times myself, but (hopefully) with enough thought going on in the character's mind that we DO care about him/her quickly enough to not get mired in "Why should I even care about this person?" thinking.
ReplyDeleteYour opening lines you used are all good. They're all very different, but they make you want to read on and know more!
Cheryl..an example is the novel titled "What Matters Most." I read this some time back because the author was Luanne Rice..one of my "then" favorite authors. Truly, I didn't care for the first lines..I had no idea who these people were. But as I read, those first lines became very important. But! ...the line made me curious enough to read it.
DeleteI bet you could write a book..on opening of novels.The Good, the Bad, The Ugly?
I don't know. I think authors get more strung up on that than readers do. I tend to think it's more the first paragraph, or the first two paragraphs, because most readers will go that far at least. As Cheryl mentioned, within those first two paragraphs, you better make your readers start caring about your character or you've lost them. But definitely, watch those beginnings and yank them in fast! People are very busy and need to know it'll be worth their time. :)
ReplyDeleteThe best opening lines for a book are short, to the point, and grab your attention. Julie Garwood is good at it. From her Honor's Splendour: "They meant to kill him." THE BRIDE, from the prologue "The deathwatch was over." and chapter 1 - "They said he killed his first wife." THE WEDDING - "Donald MacAlister didn't die easy."
ReplyDeleteI tried quickly looking at my purchased print books for great first lines, but I realized I have been buying ebooks of late and my print collection is sadly out of date. Not old enough to be valuable, not cool enough to be vintage. (Just dusty and a treasure to me.) Anyway, I enjoyed your blog post very much. A great opening line just occurred to me, but there's some mention of the weather. Maybe I'll try it in my next book: Rainwater pooled in the dead woman's belly button.
ReplyDeleteFirst lines and opening paragraphs are tricky. They have to be all things to all readers. Great blog, Celia.
ReplyDeleteA great article, Celia. We authors may have written a wonderful novel with a good plot, plenty of action, heart-felt romance, and fascinating characters, but if we don't grab the reader with a good opener, they may not care to find out how wonderful the story is!
ReplyDeleteBTW, your examples taken from Lavyrle Spencer tells me you liked her books. I've always been a huge fan and was sorry when she retired. She was my inspiration to start writing and I had the pleasure of lunching with her at an authors convention.
Cheri..I loved her books so much, I collected a paperback of all 26 (I think) titles. It took about five years scouring used book stores, but I did it. They're all on a shelf, and once in a while I randomly choose one..and read. All have been read at least 3 times..I adored her writing. She was retired before I discovered her!
DeleteI have most of hers, some even in hardback. I, too, still enjoy rereading her stories, they're that good, at least in my opinion. One of her unique talents that I liked was her ability to use similes and metaphors that weren't cliche'd.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteA great summary, Celia.
DeleteWhile we all have to develop our own approach to the challenge of the first line, for me the capstone question to ask is: Will this sentence compel my target reader to read the second sentence?
Celia, Oh how true this advice is. When I first started writing I made the long dreaded goof. I thought I needed to put info up the yingyang in it first. WRONG. I learned quick, read the first paragragh and ;mainly the first line of my favorite authors--several you exampled for sure and then I went to a RWA workshop--Put your best hook forward. WOW! That was when everything came together for me.And I appreciate you reviewing this as we are never out of the shadows of the woods--we need to keep remembering that instant hook with a capital H. Thank you. I think too if you start out with that whopper sentence or paragraph it tends to send you on a rocking and rolling start for sure.
ReplyDeleteYes, something needs to spark my attention, something that makes me curious enough to read on!
ReplyDeleteInteresting blog, Celia! But--- My first book, TEXAS GOLD, sold off the opening scene, which was a snowstorm. lolol
ReplyDeleteCelia,
ReplyDeleteOpening lines are important, for sure. Funny, though, at this moment, and without looking them up, the only opening lines I remember off the top of my head are from 'A Tale of Two Cities', 'To Kill a Mockingbird', and 'Gone with the Wind'. I must pay more attention from now on. lol